page contents

Some Ideas for a Great Relationship in 2016  

The beginning of the year often includes some evaluation and goal setting for the future. I found a posting online that I wanted to share with you in that regard. It comes from Anthony Smits at The title is My Here and Now List for a Great Relationship in 2016. Here goes – his labels and my summation of what that means to him.

I’ll focus more on my own score.

Here he is really referring not to keeping score of who does what in the relationship, but just focus on what he has done for the relationship and for his wife.

I’ll focus more on being available instead of just “around.”

Anthony talks about communicating about the things he knows are important to his wife in ways he knows she appreciates it. Also, about focusing on being emotionally available and listening – without doing something else at the same time.

I’ll focus more on my side of the fence.

Here he is talking about not comparing his relationship to others but making his the best he can. One of my favorite quotes from the post addresses the “greener on the other side of the fence” problem: “If my relationship isn’t green enough, it needs watering.”

I’ll focus on remembering about seasons, peaks, and sunrises.

Here is a commitment to focus on and mark the moments of connection and joy, recognizing that there is a lot of work and even drudgery in a relationship.

I’ll focus on showing gratitude.

Nothing really needs to be said here.

I’ll focus on taking action to further my partner’s aims.

He talks about this as consciously putting his wife’s desires above his own at times, and how this increases his own commitment to the relationship.

I’ll focus on the holes in my own dam.

This is basically about taking responsibility for his own mistakes and shortcomings.

I’ll focus on the verb that hides in love.

I love this one. It recognizes that love isn’t something that exists out there that you find, particularly mature love. It is something you create with your actions and behavior toward each other.

If I can vastly simplify, this is about taking responsibility for, and working on, your own stuff (including creating the love you want), attending to your partner’s needs, and attending to and creating positive interaction. A worthy list for all of us at the beginning of the year.