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Carrying Your Partner With You  

Many couples live very busy lives and have little time together.  This can lead to a sense of disconnection and a feeling that they don’t know what is going on in each other’s lives.  How can a connection be maintained when there is so little time together?

One thing I find helpful is what I call “carrying your partner with you.”  By that I mean being aware of and thinking about your partner through the day.  Most couples do this, but often don’t communicate it very well.  With a little bit of effort, focusing on those moments to emphasize carrying your partner with you can help create an ongoing sense of connection.

Think about focusing on two things.  One is just letting your partner know that you are thinking about them through the day.  The ubiquitous text message makes this quite easy these days.  Send a brief message saying what you are doing or offering good wishes for something you know your partner is involved in that day.  You can also just send an “I’m thinking of you” or even an “I love you.”

Also think about collecting stories that you know would be meaningful to your partner.  It could be about something they are interested in, something with shared meaning for the two of you, or just a funny story they would appreciate.  Many people have such thoughts during the day, but often don’t share them.  When you share the stories later you are also sharing with your partner that you are carrying them with you through the day.